To Temp

Temp                    Temporary

Replacement          Impermanent

Substitute               Transitory

Alternate                Fleeting


Understudy            Ephemeral

Surrogate              Momentary


Do you question your function in the world? Have you reached a point of realization that it is and may always be continuously changing? As a Temp the role transformation is much more frequent. So much so that there may be confusion as to if there even is a valid role, but then again it must be true because if the Temp was not present when needed who would be? Like a substitute teacher or a surrogate mother. Not that an office temp can even measure up to either. It is not like the entire corporation will come crashing down if a call gets routed to the wrong person or the printer runs out of toner. Or will it? It is a curious job nevertheless. For a few days you become skilled at a receptionist/admin/office manager’s responsibilities, get to know a few people’s names (if you can) and then “poof” on to the next job… where you start the process over, with a few differences from office to office. Individual personalities and phone systems are typically the most common variance.

There’s no real commitment to being an office temp and it makes one wonder why do it at all? For some it is a means to an end in today’s observably desperate job market and yet for others there is a yearning for constant variation (i.e. commitment phobia). Now that I have placed my own feet in those ephemeral shoes I have discovered a great deal not only about other people, but about myself, my work ethic and who I have become when it comes to relationships and commitment.

First, let us discuss other people in relationship to the Temp. Going based off of my own experience, and then other’s, I will have to say my experience so far has been a good one. The people who place me are reasonably efficient so I am constantly working. The people I have had to work for, up to this point have been kind and patient when needed. There are of course the much-higher-up’s that you will get from time to time who will not acknowledge your existence unless they need something from you and even then your name will not fall off of their tongue, but for the most part people are reasonable. Now I have heard from others that they abhor being a temp because they are treated like a peon. Also there have been a few complaints about certain temp-to-hire positions that will not truly hire the person because it is cheaper to keep them as a temp in order not to offer them benefits. Some temps continue to work for the same company for months or even a year, I am not sure how long a temp would take it I know I could not. If you are keeping me around after three months you must like me, so prove it. Okay that is that.

Also, when it comes to other individuals there are plenty of inadequate temps out there, or possibly circumspect administrators. The reason I say this is because some supervisors will call and monitor progress every hour after having provided pages of explicit instructions on how things should be achieved. No matter how proficient one may be they are still suspect that the task requirements are not being met. Another quandary faced by a temp is dual instructions, one given by the actual employer (i.e. someone who doesn’t do the actual job for whom you are substituting) and the other by the person being covered. It can get tricky here because if you are given conflicting instructions whose do you follow? This can cause tension between the temp and the various coworkers. This is not always the case. In fact most often it is not. Now this may be due to the few indolent, sanctimonious and apathetic temps out there who do not take pride in their work and are only in it for the purported “easy money” and minimal obligation. With no valid commitment to one employer there is no true repercussion if you screw up. That particular office may not want you back and you may not get many assignments from the temp place you are working for but you don’t have to work for only one temp place at a time. If you are an idler who is not required to make a bona fide living this way of life could prove mildly successful, but it will have an effect on those who actually need the jobs. It is like any other job. If there are people who are doing it inadequately it makes the people who are doing it admirably look substandard by association. Due to this lack of enthusiasm for the job various employers feel the need to micromanage the temps in conjunction with the person requiring the provisional replacement in order to assure efficient operations.

Now enough of the boring bullshit, in all likelihood it will be boring to the majority… but then who cares right? So as mentioned earlier, in becoming a temp there have been mild epiphanies here and there. The first one is why I became a temp, I would lie and say it is only because I was desperate and needed a job but there is more to it than that. All though I had moved here with more confidence, education and emotional stability this time than I had had five years ago, I still wasn’t so sure I was ready for something steady. Afraid of getting sick or screwing up, I opted for an easier alternative. Much like the slothful person described before I didn’t want to work at it. However, after getting over the hump of interviewing and then completing my first and second jobs I realized I was not one of those apathetic, lazy people at all. Most of the tasks themselves were quite undemanding and had so at times I would request more work. Needing more to do, I realized my true desire was a long-term commitment.

Another realization has come to me while temping. I am a one-man-woman… or a one-job-employee. Reminiscent of a rose, at times striking yet with moments of weakness (and thorns), I also crave roots. (This moves beyond the career situation, however given that that is the current subject…) Having this temp job makes me realize how much I want to really get to know the people I work with and how important it is to have relationships with your associates, even if it is only at work. There is a bond and a respect that is formed amid colleagues that you do not acquire as a temp.

Temping has supplied me with even more confidence nevertheless and maybe in some divine way I am supposed to be doing this for a while. Learning a lot about how to work with various personalities, the structure of how things work in metropolitan area businesses, how to deal with traffic (it is called lots of patience and good music), and how to work diligently and not take myself and others too seriously is also aiding in my self-reliance in and out of the work place. Most important of all is, with baby steps I am discovering what I relocated here to learn even at thirty… how to be an adult.

A bit of Coping Poetry- from the D-Years

Secret Slashing

Bridget Wilcox ‘03

Razor to my arm
Need to feel the pain
Need to feel something
Tired of the void
Stuck in a little black box
Can’t get out
It’s so dark
Razor to my arm
It’s all I feel





The Day I Woke Up
Bridget Wilcox ‘07

It wasn’t after you destroyed our home

It wasn’t after you berated me for hours in the parking lot

It wasn’t after you put your hand through the wall

It wasn’t after I swallowed all of those pills

It wasn’t when you called the ambulance

It wasn’t when I was revived

It was when you finally left

It was when I finally had a moment to think, about myself

It was when I realized I could be happy

Without you…



Rage Released

Bridget Wilcox ‘07

“I can hold it back,” you say.
Smiling and laughing, you hide it inside
Deep down, in the pit of your stomach
It stays and grows
Like uncontrollable weeds
It ascends from your bowels
Growing from the misery hindered for so long
Simple release now turned to rage
Fury built up from the sorrow
You fought so hard to keep inside
Now it must be released
Released on me, my spirit, and my body
It must be released



Green

Bridget Wilcox‘08


I do not crave a long hard cry


At the recollection of our friendship


I do not long for a ferocious scream


Knowing it was all a lie


I do not wish to be afraid


To let others in, past the scars


I do not want to hate you


But right now I have to



The Questions That Go Through My Head

Bridget Wilcox ‘07

Will I ever catch up?
Will I ever be normal?
Does love exist for someone like me?
How many times will I fall before I can no longer get up?
Will someone be there to catch me?
Will I be able to catch myself?
Will I live with my parents till they die?
What will happen when they die?
Will I survive?
When will I grow up?
When will my life plan be figured out?
Will I ever be good at anything?
Will I ever be great?
Will I ever trust people the way I used to?
How many mistakes will I make in life?
How many will I make in love?
Do I deserve true happiness?
When I finally reach my goals will they crumble?
When I finally have love, will it leave?
When true joy has blessed my life will I lose it?
Or will I die?





Me

Bridget ‘07


I am an artist
Observing life and beauty
Creating from experience

I am political
Listening and learning
Fighting for a better world


I am spiritual
Examining all religions
Understanding all aspects of God


I am emotional
Facing sadness, rage and delight
Knowing hate and indulging in love


I am
Irreplaceable
One of a kind…